How Intimate Partner Violence Affects Children

Across our communities, a troubling phenomenon occurs far too often – the co-occurrence of intimate partner violence (IPV) and child maltreatment. This interplay can be devastating and casts a long shadow into the future, particularly for the youngest witnesses. Understanding the co-occurrence of this violence and its profound impact on children is crucial.

The History of Domestic Violence Awareness Month

First recognized in 1981 as a “Day of Unity,” Domestic Violence Awareness Month was officially declared by the United States Congress in 1989 and is recognized every October. Organizations, advocates, and survivors connect with each other and their communities throughout the month to raise awareness of IPV and resources for support. In 2024, the National Call for Unity is an opportunity for connective action to Heal, Hold, and Center.

The Domestic Violence Awareness Project calls for us to collectively “…work together, embrace the many cultural ways we can heal from violence and oppression, commit to holding space for survivors, and center those most marginalized in all of our efforts to end domestic violence. As we heal, hold, and center survivors, especially those navigating anti-Blackness and other systems of oppression, we remain grounded in the knowledge that there is no survivor justice without racial justice.” You can join the #CallforUnity across social media!

How Witnessing Intimate Partner Violence Can Affect Children

Even when children are not the direct victims of violence in the home, witnessing intimate partner violence can have significant impacts. Children growing up in families with intimate partner violence (IPV) are at increased risk of child maltreatment (CM). The most common form of child maltreatment co-occurring with IPV is neglect. Children who live in homes with IPV are more likely to be sexually abused than children who do not live in homes with IPV. Finally, children who are exposed to both IPV and child maltreatment may show more emotional and behavioral problems and are more at risk of becoming involved in violence later in life. Learn more about these and other impacts at the Child Abuse Library Online.

Children exposed to domestic violence often struggle academically and socially at school. The stress and trauma they experience at home can make it difficult for them to concentrate, leading to poor academic performance and behavioral issues like aggression or withdrawal. They may also have trouble forming relationships with teachers and peers due to fear and mistrust. For adolescents, the effects can be even more severe, manifesting as anxiety, depression, absenteeism, or disciplinary problems. This can result in disengagement from school and a higher risk of dropping out. Schools play a crucial role in recognizing the signs of trauma and providing the support needed to help these students heal and succeed.

Supporting a Child Who Has Witnessed IPV

If you learn or know that a child is exposed to domestic violence, working to create a stable and secure environment is important. WomensHealth.gov provides some basic guidelines for caregivers in situations of IPV:

Help them feel safe.
Talk to them about their fears. Let them know that it’s not their fault or your fault.
Talk to them about healthy relationships.
Talk to them about boundaries. Let your child know that no one has the right to touch them or make them feel uncomfortable.
Help identify a reliable support system. In addition to a parent, this can be a school counselor, a therapist, or another trusted adult who can provide ongoing support. Some professionals are required to report when a child experiences or witnesses violence in the home. Learn more about how to make a report in Minnesota.
Get them professional help. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of talk therapy or counseling that may work best for children who have experienced violence or abuse. Other emerging therapy modalities like Somatic Therapy may also be supportive for children.
Read the full list of advice at WomensHealth.gov.

Resources for Leaving an Abusive Relationship

Leaving a relationship where abuse is occurring can be frightening and overwhelming. There are resources to help individuals make a plan to leave. The National Domestic Abuse Hotline is available 24 hours a day at 1-800-799-SAFE or by texting “START” to 88788. The StrongHearts Native Helpline is available at 1-844-7NATIVE (762-8483).

Safety Planning

Creating a safety plan is one way to prepare for the process of leaving a relationship, and many advocacy organizations provide resources for those in need of support. WomensHealth.gov and the National Domestic Abuse Hotline are both good places to start.

It is also important to find an advocate for IPV near you. In Minnesota, you can find advocates in your area through Violence Free Minnesota. You can also reach out to your nearest children’s advocacy center for support. Culturally-specific support is available for Native women in Minnesota through Mending the Sacred Hoop.

More Information About IPV and Child Maltreatment

As we raise awareness this month, it’s important to emphasize that domestic violence impacts not only adults but also children and adolescents. Schools, communities, and families must come together to provide safe environments and resources that foster healing, resilience, and hope for the future. You can help us raise awareness this month by reading more about the impacts of domestic violence on children and adolescents below.